5. In 8th grade I was on the drill team for my school
6. I did not carry a purse daily until I was in my 20’s
7. In Kindergarten I punched a boy in the eye for looking under my skirt! His mom thought a boy named “Scotty” beat him up (that was my nick name) I hated skirts ever since. Probably what turned me into a TomBoy!
8. My mom thought i was going to be a boy and my name was going to be Marquise (not sure of the correct spelling)
9. The first time I ever got drunk it was off E&J (face palm)
10. 2 of my favorite movies are “Shottas” and “Fried Green Tomatoes”
There’s this brown dog that has been coming to our house for months, cute little thing! He looks helpless though, blood shot red eyes and it appears that his front foot is broken. He does not walk on it too much and when he stands he holds it up. If it’s not broke than he has a MAJOR slew-foot lol!
It comes around so much that the kids and I named it Kobee (yes with 2 e’s) of course Kobe is our ultimate favorite player. We gave him the name before Kobe passed so now it’s a must he keeps it. Crazy thing is he answers to it too lol. Kobee eats amazing for a dog, any left over we have the kids and I feed it to him. I think some days I make extra just because I know he will be coming by. Oh man and Troy really dislikes the fact we feed him. I mean it’s left overs that no one in the house is going to eat so I really don’t see the harm. All the kids want to keep him and pet him but as much as I love the dog NAW we are not touching it lol I have no clue where it’s been or if it’s had shots sorry kiddos.
I’m not really sure how this dog found us but my daughter tells me that I’m like this with people too. Very friendly, open and accept every one. I don’t think that is the case lol, I’m social but many wouldn’t call me friendly. Well I guess just people that know me. She said every where we go it seems like I make a friend or people tell me random things about their life.
They say you attract what you are, am I a stray? Lol sounds funny but if you’ve read my blog “childhood to adulthood” I guess I some what a bit of a stray! I don’t mind that people tell me things, if I’ve remotely been through a similar situation then I’m glad to help in whatever way I can. And even if I can’t well just allowing them to get it off their chest, I’m glad I could lend them an ear. I guess they see something in me that’s familiar or comfortable!
I kind of want a dog but they are just like having another child. Have to keep up with shots, feed them, train them, clean up after them and I just don’t want to have to do all that. The kids claim they will do it BUT I still have to tell them to clean their room half the time so they will not be responsible. It’s clear Troy does not want an animal. How do you and your spouse handle situations as this??? I’m stuck and for now maybe we will just get them a turtle or some fish ha!!!
I saw a post on Facebook the other day that asked “Do y’all believe that people’s childhoods affect their relationships with people?” I responded “ HELL YES”! Then it had me thinking about a blog I wrote back in January but have been hesitant to post, I was going to call it “Childhood Trauma”. I was also stuck on the title lol. But that post just allowed to to feel comfortable to talk about it now! I will just break it down to fit that one question!
Over the past 5 or 6 years I have came to terms with a lot of things I’ve went through as a child and I look at the relationships in my life and how it has a affected them both good and bad! Basically I have been doing self therapy! Knowing my issues has never been a problem, facing them head on and actually knowing where they stem from was!
For starters my mother, I never knew that I resented her growing up. Now as mother I totally understand BUT as her child I don’t know that I ever will. Up until the age of 8 or 9 She raised me as a Scott (My brothers family) that family never treated me as anything other than a Scott BUT I always felt as if I did not belong. My dad was a typical weekend dad and we had some good times. When we moved from Denver to Kansas City is when I met WillWill who became another father figure and to this day I think he may be the one I’m most close with, not only did he teach me life lessons but he made me feel safe and we really have a dad daughter bond. The kids under me didn’t really know that I wasn’t family (in both families) due to them growing up around me! The older ones yes, some claim(ed) me as family and some it was just never talked about. Which made me feel weird since it was not talked about. Almost as if I couldn’t tell one family about the other like it was a secret. I didn’t want who didn’t know to treat me different. If they knew of the other family there may be questions. (Hope that makes sense for you all) Later I found out that I was actually an Evans and that’s when my world turned upside down! I never met that dad until I was 15 (Well i did when i was 9 but had NO clue who he was and he sure didn’t make it know ) and it was on my behalf knowing that I had siblings. Our relationship has been rocky and the only time I ever felt close to him was actually about 2 weeks ago. Whenever I visit them and meet new family I ALWAYS hear “I didn’t even know you had an older daughter Mark” as if I’m not standing right there.. Thanks! Sooo again I do not feel as if I belong or welcomed... Catching on to the pattern here? Now as I stated I understand wanting the best for our children so we want to do for them the best we can! But honestly I’m not sure if she thought this dad thing all the way through. The way this has affected me with my children and my relationship is at times I feel like I push their own family on them because I never want them to feel as if they are not wanted or don’t feel they fit in with their own. It also affected me having friendships with other girls because my childhood self always thinks if my mom could hold in that truth than why wouldn’t anyone else! So I do not trust easy. I have done a lot better with getting along and opening up to females but I’m not all the way there just yet!
As far as my dads situation affecting my relationships, whewww Chile ! I was use to men leaving me so I’m kind of became numb to it. My Scott dad stopped coming around when he found out I knew of my birth dad. A couple of years ago he opened up to me about it when I had a conversation about our relationship! He left with out even knowing if I even met my real dad, says he felt as if he wouldn’t have a say anymore. When he said that it was like I lost him all over again. To me it felt like BS and it was just his way out, I can’t help that I felt that way but it’s my truth! Will Will went to jail when I was 12 and he’s still there so there went the only man in my life that I felt was the most honest with me. Mark was hardly around as is so.. My relationships with men had me clinging tight to those that were close in fear of losing them even if they were not right for me! Or I didn’t even take the chance to get close in fear of them leaving me.
It’s hard at times because for me family is not always blood it’s based off loyalty and love! I never want my kids to experience the feelings I’ve had being around family who just doesn’t see it the same way as I do. Some of my family I don’t even care to have them around because I don’t want them in and out like they are with me!
With my kids I make sure that I’m very open and honest about all my dads, because trust me they ask questions ha! I’m going to cut it off here because I can go on for days about this. Just wanted to answer that FaceBook question!
We all know that mothering comes with ALOT.. Body changes, sleep patterns, laughs, cries, good times, bad times, stressful time and so much more. We get in a routine of being just a mom and we don’t really want to add on any other tasks right? Right, I’ve said this a time or two before but it’s true so i can’t say it enough!
A lot of times the support of your household may not be what you need due to them just simply not understanding certain things! Having a supportive circle of women/mothers around you to help you roll with all the punches motherhood gives you will keep you going! The understanding you all share will fully allow you to express what’s been going on in your mind!
There are lot of women around me who support me and also give it to me raw when it comes to advice! I don’t want anyone just telling me what i want to hear so it’s great to hear the honest truth! It’s those uncomfortable situations that help me grow and reflect.
It may be difficult to hear but as they saying goes “The truth hurts” but i love it.
If you go through my texts right now i have a few different group texts each one different in their own rights! All women from different back grounds, in different stages of motherhood, some married, some single but all supportive! In each group there are honest moments, tears laughter and many pictures but never any judgment! I know each of these ladies i can go to for different things and i hope they know the same from me as well..
As much as i would love to talk to Troy about certain things like the stress of spreading my time to all of them he just can not give me the direct answer or conversation i will get from these women lol so sometimes i don’t even bother. Even tho this is one thing i brought up on our date night yesterday! It’s simply because we have different rolls,, just like I’ll never know the struggles of a man so it’s ok!
During my younger days i use to always say “NO NEW FRIENDS” and boy was i wrong about that! Adding new women to your circle does not mean you have to get rid of the old ones. Also in some situations the new women you meet may be more supportive in ways the old ones could not! I feel like it’s good to have different mixtures, you just never know what can come from these friendships! The key to keeping and maintaining these relationships is fully understanding people are in different situations in life, and even though we may not all think the same we can help out in situations that may be new to the other person.
Every other month a group of us try and get together for a ladies night! Each time there’s a different group, everyone tries to bring a new face to join and we really have a great time. It’s fun time away from home, kids and our men lol!! Usually filled with soooo many laughs. This last one we went to a Trap Boxing class, whew we sweated so bad but it was more fun then we expected.
The key is to be around strong women who inspire you to open up your way of thinking, show you how to handle different situations and to share mothering tips because when your around bold strong women there will be no jealousy only praise and support because they want to see you win!!
2. I was born in Denver
