My garage really

Honestly it has been so long that i can not remember my mom taking me out much to drive! The few times we did go i think i was just a natural.... Well in my head anyway lol! But when i tell you this teaching a child to drive thing is not for me, I am NOT lying!!!

The first time we went out driving I took her to a school parking lot! I made Trinity and Kayden go play at the playground mainly because i was nervous and just wanted to be cautious! But i won’t lie she did well, of course there were no cars so she probably thought driving was just going to be a beeeze! THINK AGAIN little momma! It was cute though the kids were on the sidelines cheering her on! So she was super pumped up.

When I finally got her on the streets we took back roads but there were cars and winding roads however she did not do too bad. Main thing I noticed was she was quite tense, had her shoulders dang near touching her ears. Poor baby!

Ok fast forward a few times on the street and i was ready to take her a longer distance! But for some reason she was not having it! Here we go back with the shoulders to the neck!!

I may have panicked a few times as well butttt!!! ....Just see what happened!!  🤦🏽‍♀️

“All you care about is education”

In the class room there is normally 1 teacher to 18 or more students! There is NO way education should be left solely on the teacher. For me I feel education begins and continues at home. Not only so your child can have that one on one attention but because there are so many things school does not teach! Real life lessons to be exact and also it seems like every year they are learning the same history facts. What’s up with that?

Around the age 6 months is when i started teaching my kids colors, counting and the abc’s! Seems as though kids grasp things at a younger age and the more consistent the easier to pick up! I would buy and or create flash cards for them. I truly wanted their learning to be visual and fun so that we would play and they wouldn’t even know they were learning! 

A few things i did with Kayden:

1. Instead of saying things like “Kayden can you hand me a block” I’d say “Kayden can you please  
    hand me a RED block”

2. I taped the spelling of the item on the toy so he would know how to connect the two...

3. When learning to spell his name i made it into a song K-A-Y-D-E-N  L-A-R-O-N  D-A-Y don’t be
    shy and spell it to the enddddd’ (Sang this in a jingle bell melody)

4. I taped sight words all over the house and would leave them up for a week at a time!
    Since he loves basketball I’d turn spelling into a game! We would play “Horse” shooting baskets
    except we would use one of the site words and when he got it right he would get a treat such as
    chips, candy or cookies!

Even though he’s a little older now I probably should get back to games like this maybe he would not get so frustrated when he has to do homework! Because some days can be a struggle just getting him to focus on his work!

I always try and stay in communication with their teachers so that when I’m giving them extra homework I’m not teaching them differently then the teacher. Leave it up to me to have the kid confused lol! One conversation with Kayden’s teacher really saddened my heart to hear that the school cut out spelling words due to kids failing because their parents were not going over the words with them. I don’t care how busy or tired i am, even if it’s only 15-20 minutes a day we are going to go over those words! Kayden cracks me up because he’s always telling me “All you care about is education. Probably true because I turn everything into a lesson. 

There is this great website called “Ruby Reads”  which helps your child connect reading, discovery and hands on learning in a fun way with their  Ruby’s Book Boxes and Read Aloud posters! Their belief matches mine that your child learns best in a relaxed supportive environment WITH YOU! Their products are inexpensive and well worth the quality time you will be able to spend with your child! Visit their website www.RubyReadsBooks.com I promise you will not be disappointed!

Kimara is older now so things I do with her are a little different! I’ve always given her extra homework because she is SUPER smart and i did not fell she was being challenged enough! One of her teachers told me in a parent teacher conference  “In my 25 plus years of teaching, i have never had a parent ask to provide extra homework! But i love it”. That truly made me feel amazing! (Pats myself on the back) When she was about 8 I started giving her weekly where she had to learn the definition and spelling. I also challenge her to try using it at least once a day! I feel like my vocabulary is a bit short so my hope was this would whelp to lengthen hers (I probably need to get in on this action as well lol). 

Maybe once a month I would have her pick a subject, or person and she did the research for that topic then wrote a paper on it! She’s really shy so I would have her stand up and read it to me! That helped to open her up, be direct and speak clearly! The more she did it the better she got! Watching his growth was amazing!

I know as mothers we are pulled in so many directions! If you do not always have the time to create fun homework with your child I’d suggest speaking with the teacher on things you can do!

Here are some questions you may want to ask the teacher!

1. What can i do at home to help?

The attention you give at home to your child’s education is important! Something as simple as checking their homework may help!

2. Does my child build friendships easily with his/her classmates?

Kids are very impressionable so it’s always good to know who they associate with! I’ve had to tell each of my kids teachers to separate them from their friends in class or they won’t focus.

3. Do you reward my child for good behavior and id so how?

If it works in the class it should work at home! My sons teacher (a female) allows Kayden to go visit a male teacher every Friday IF he’s had a good week! That teacher normally gives him some kind of treat! Kayden needs every male figure he can to bond with and look up to so I truly love that she does this!

Lastly speak with your child to see what their needs are! Some questions to ask could be:

1. What strengths do you bring to the classroom?

Their answer can be a constant reminder and confidence booster!

2.What changes would you like to see in class?

This will help them to be honest and learn to know when to speak up and seek the help they need!

3. How can i help?

The most direct question of all, IF we don’t know we can’t help!

If education is as important to you as it is to me! I truly hope this helps! If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask! And also drop comments below on how you help your child learn!

Mothers guilt...

There is so much that needs to be done/given to your children , quality time, spending money, cooking, cleaning blah blah blah that i always get mothers guilt when i try to do anything for myself. I do not know how to turn it off sometimes..

Working from home makes it so easy for me to do over time, and the more i do i start thinking ok i know I’m at home and the kids are here but i really haven’t had time to converse with them other than saying “you’re too loud get out my office” or thinking “ok here you come again showing me another video” lol... But then i also think we’ll you know what i need this money cause i know they will be needing something soon!

It’s so crazy because anytime i have a little extra money Troy is telling me “Krystle do something for yourself even if it’s just going to get a massage” and here i go well babe i wanna hold onto it just incase it’s needed. He just looks at me crazy and then i end up buying something, but i still budget it and don’t go crazy. Anytime I’m alone and i go to get something for myself most of the time i end up getting something for them! Does not always be a big thing but even just little character  stand for the back of their phones... which thinking about it i joust stepped on one the other day! Dang kids use it for 2 days then just don’t care about it no more (face palm)!

There’s that worry if I’m over doing or under doing anything and it truly gives me anxiety. I’m not sure if it’s that i over think everything. Or maybe i always replay things i may have felt as a child and i never want them to feel that way! Lol but then thinking that makes me feel like I’m creating something in them that will affect them as they grow up! WHEWWW child yea just typing that shows me that i over think.

Do not forget who you were before becoming a mother because it’s so easy to do! We never want to neglect the children and in doing so we neglect ourself. Being a single mom i have to be all things at once! Boy the pressure be turnt wayyyyy up..

Here are some ways that i have tried using to get over my mom guilt

1. Get out of the house: it will allow you to free your mind. If you are not ok it will trickle down to the kids since you are the foundation
               -  Have a girls night
               - Find some place to go alone (before it got cold i would walk the track in my neighborhood)

2.  Step back to asses the situation 
                - ask yourself is there really anything wrong or is it in my head
                - recognize the thoughts you’re having (i literally have told myself Krystle just stop)

3. Strengthen the relationship with your partner
                  - another guilt that comes up (for me at least) when caring for the kids, romance might take the back seat 
                   - Make sure to get date nights in even if it’s just to go get ice cream  
                   - Having a healthy relationship is a great example for the kids to see 
4. Know that there is no such thing as a perfect mom 
                  - I’ve taken my mother’s mistakes and tried improving them
                 

Parenting is hard enough without beating yourself up about it! Allow your self room for mess ups and mishaps.  After all the mistakes are how we learn and it’s only a mistake if you do it again. What are some things you get mom guilt about? And how do you handle it! Comment below

Turn off mom today

As mothers we are the glue that holds the family together , if we are not sane then the whole house crumbles! Gotta make sure the house is clean, cook dinner, make sure lunches are packed and or paid for, homework is done, making sure everyone feels good etc etc!

We have to be cautious of all the different personalities of the kids, none of them need the same attention or like the same foods or activities! We Have to make sure our time is split evenly between them. The punishments are never the same. It’s just all different lol...

Soon as work is over there is no sitting down, it’s straight to cooking! And everyone in my house eats so different so sometimes i feel as though I’ve made 2 meals in one. Even then sometimes one person dose not want what’s cooked! At that point it’s like you better find something for yourself or don’t eat! But me I’m eating ha.. I don’t know about you all but normally i make everyone’s plate, the one time i don’t everyone looking crazy like their hands are broke and they don’t know what to do, it’s the funniest thing lol

Funny story, i truly get annoyed when someone changes the tissue but does not put the new roll back on they just leave in on the counter! I walked in the bathroom and was about to tell Troy about himself... i was stopped in my tracks, he was like i did not do that (this time lol) but i remembered earlier i had to run out the bathroom because i heared my eggs cracking .. It was me this time, at that moment i said ohhwee i need a break lol

I need a huge calendar for my fridge to write everything down, I’m always booking something and somehow the days are always overbooked! It’s no ones fault but mine but i still get annoyed! I swear i need an assistant!

Some days i just feel like I’m all over the place and just want some one to ask back “how was your day” “can i help you with something”

Ok thanks for listening to my mommy complaints! Maybe we don’t do it enough, if you need to scream or complain then please do it below it will make you feel better trust me.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Experiences Giver

We all want our kids to have the best things, the latest shoes, the nicest clothes. Do those things really hold value or create great genuine people?

I want to give my kids great experiences like traveling to see & experience new things, you know taking them on adventures.

When we were in Florida, we visited Kingsley Plantation.  Where the kids got to see parts of what was left of the houses built by slaves using seashells, sand and water. They were so amazed asking things like "where did they all live, in this one room?" and "Where did they use the restroom?"

They also got to see the boarding dock where the slaves were brought off the boat and onto the plantation. I wish we were able to go inside of the actual Plantation Main House, but it wasn’t allowed.

Never the less, it  was a great experience for the kids.

WHAT MY LARGE FAMILY HAS TAUGHT US!

I'm so grateful my kids get to see so many walks of life, just from my family alone.  We are a large family made up of many Races, Religions, Different Handicaps and Different Orientations.

Growing up around all of these types of people leave no room for judgement, when you are unfamiliar and have not experienced things, it leaves you afraid of the unknown.  When you grow up with diversity and life experience, it creates children who grow up with acceptance and prevents the bullying nature in the next generation.

Kimara's Promise is a non profit that I created and named after my first born daughter, Kimara.

Doing charity work has helped my kids to understand the idea of giving back. It teaches them, that anyone is a bad choice away from being homeless and that everyone needs a hand every now and then. Even to this day, we volunteer our time as much as possible, especially on Holidays.


SPREAD LOVE:

One week we did something really fun!  We left positive notes in different places, like public restrooms and bus stops that read: "Have a great Day" "Spread Love" "Give a Hug" "Smile, Someone loves you"

Another week we bought small toys, wrapped them with a message inside that matched the toy,  For example, we had block, and the message said "Build the life you want".  (I can't remember the exact words- but something along those lines..#DontJudgeMe)

I let the kids pass them out while I was out running errands.  I wanted to make sure they saw the reaction of the other child when they handed it to them.  They really enjoyed this activity!

What are some of the experiences you have shared with your children or that you plan to experience.

Boarder line paranoid..

I posted the other day on my social media pages how i have daily worry about my kids, which led me back to a conversation i had while i was in FL! The girl (no need to mention her although I’ve told her i was going to write this blog about her and anything i say here I’ve already said to her) i stayed with has a son around Kaydens age. 9 to be exact! By the way for the boys first time meeting they adjusted very well and quickly to each other which was shocking because Kayden is a cancer like me and it takes us a while to open up!

Anyway back on track Krystle...

I don’t know if I’m just overly protective and cautious with my kids but i feel like it’s very necessary with the way times are these days. The son is able to play outside and basically has no restrictions on where he is able to go since he has a watch his mother can call and track him on. This was an issue for me. Kayden can go outside however if i can’t see you and you can’t hear me than sir you are too far. Every time they wanted to go outside I’d hear Kayden say “my mom is not going to let me go there” after a while the uncle just started going so Kayden could (shoulder shrug).

There is a park he likes to go to that was out of the neighborhood and a little bridge needed to be crossed to get there! This park is huge with baseball fields etc so that’s when my mommy mode kicked in #OhhMy. Now i try and mind my business but i just wanted to know how she was comfortable with that!  Basically she said she has lived there for so long that she knows the neighbors and the area so she does not worry! It’s an older city so most the people there are old and retired! Ok that’s all fine and dandy buttttt IF you know me i have a rebutle for everything . Ok the people around you are old but you do not know their company! Also people come into these types of areas to do crime for that reason.

I have heard way too many stories on the news of kids being snatched right in front of their parents so you think they won’t do it when a little boy is alone. She went back on how she can track his watch she even went on to show me what all she can see on the tracker! And I’m like ok what if the kidnapper throws the watch where he takes him! That comment made her silent for a moment.

She understood where i was coming from and it did make her second think! Now It’s not for me to judge or change anyone’s parenting because parents have to do what’s right for them and their situation! However i was glad that i was able to at least make her re think it! I haven’t talked with her much since then so not really sure if anything has changed but I’m sure it has not since she was very secure with her decision.

Ohh ohh another thing she mentioned is that she did not want to keep him cooped up in the house, which I’m all for that as well. BUT a child can still be outside with restrictions and not be cooped up but again that’s just me.

Times are so different from when i was a kid, hell my daughter will be 16 this year and over the last months to a year I’m just now letter her walk the neighborhood! Thinking back to when i was her age i use to be out every where. Sometimes i wonder how I’d be if i just had a little more restriction . Not saying that I’m just  out here all Willly nilly or anything but y’all get what I’m saying! This might just be one of the reasons why I’m so overly cautious. I know there were many situations that i was in that could have went left.

Anyway y’all, am i being to paranoid, since i have a little boy? Should he be able to have a little bit more freedom than the girls? What are the rules with your kids while playing outside?  Please comment below!

Damn Ma!

I know we have all hard some horrible cheesy pick up lines from men, maybe a cat call or 2!! But OMG there is nothing worse to me than a man trying to “hollar” at me when I’m with my children...We’ll let me take that back, it’s all about how you go about it! There have been sooo many disrespectful men (or should i say boy because  a MAN would never!) come at me while Kayden or Kimara was with me...

This one time my son and i was walking out the store and all i hear is
                         “DAMN MA, you sexy as hell”
If you know me, my looks can kill! It made me stop in my tracks and even Kayden gave him a death stare! My response “Don’t you see my son right here, come at me with some respect!”
Now maybe i didn’t take the right approach especially since it was just me and Kayden but in that moment i did not care. I don’t advise anyone to take this approach either because as we all know the world is crazy and he could have did anything to us! The boy responded with “Damn excuse me it was only a compliment”

Sorry that was not just a compliment and i do not want my son thinking that, that type of behavior is acceptable! There is a time and place for everything and also it’s not always what you say but how you say it! I would have accepted, “you look beautiful, have a good day” ! Never let anyone give you less than what you expect or deserve! If Kayden would have seen me accept that the he would grow up thinking well my momma took it so i guess i can do it! If he ever comes at a woman that way and she accepts it, he will never give her the respect she deserves because right from the jump she is showing she don’t even fully respect herself! When we got into the car Kayden said “he was weird Moma” so right then and there i had to tell him to always respect a woman and especially when they have their children with them!

Same goes for Kimara I’d never want her to see or accept that type of behavior from a man! There was a time when we were together and had back to back disrespect! My response was not the same as when Kayden was with me though because i would not want her to respond in that manner!

So we were walking into the gas station, a dude right in front of us and he did not even hold the door open for us, like it damn near shut in my face (dudes these days have no respect it’s sad smh) Kimara was like well that was rude... This was disrespect numero uno! On the way out the gas station a dude pumping gas starts making call noises like psst psst, and aye ayes at me! My baby was like momma i think he’s talking to you... told her “i hear but i do not answer to that and you better not look his way! And don’t you ever answer to that if a boy is trying to get your attention” .... Guess who comes out and goes to the same car, yup the dust ball who didn’t hold the door for us! Only makes sense the two would be together!!

It all starts at home, I can’t fully blame the mothers but when you know better you do better and As I always say, kids learn from example so it’s vital to be that for them! Funny story before i go! I always make sure Kayden holds the door open for women right, to the point where there have been times he sees a women getting out her car, i done walked off and see him behind me waiting for the women to come lol... Anyway one day we’re leaving the store and he’s holding the door for a lady walking in and she says “it’s ok i got it”... (whenever i hear someone say that i say NO he got it, only because i know men if too many women don’t accept it then they will stop doing it. Trust me I’ve seen it lol) but as we’re walking to the car Kayden said. “Momma why did she say she got it? She must be a tomboy or something” i about died and just told him that shivery is dead and she must have forgot how to accept it lol..

 I know i can’t be the only mother to experience this, please share if you have been in a similar situation and how did you handle it?