Sports mom

As a kid I played SoftBall and I truly enjoyed being out there with everyone cheering and screaming! The adrenaline of making sure I caught a flying ball coming towards me to get the running player out before she even slid into my base. Whew there is nothing like it, thinking about it I’m not really sure why I didn’t play longer than I did because it was really fun! Not sure if most people really consider it a sport but I also was on a church dance team and my school step team! Building relationships and forming a sisterhood with your team is great! 

Sports are great for many reasons but just to name a few:

~ Preparation : A mode of preparing for the future!  You must be mentally and physically ready to give your all.

~ Perseverance: Steady persistence in a course of action! Even if you can’t get it the first try, keep going until you do.

~  Believing in others: You can’t win alone, being a team player you have to have faith and trust in your team

~ No excuses attitude: seek to defend or justify.  Excuses don’t win titles!

~ Make mistakes: An act or judgment misguided. Just like in life, it’s only a mistake if you don’t correct it! Learn from it and grow!

~ Respect:  Deep admiration for someone or something! In order to receive it you must give it

~ Know how to win and lose: As quick as your on top you can be back at the bottom! Do not over boast your wins and do not pity your loses! 

~ Passion/ Love: Strong and barely controllable emotion. If you don’t have a desire to do it, you won’t achieve goals. You must first actually want to do it.

My kids are active in sports heavily especially my son. Kimara has been cheering for school and competition for 3 years. And Kayden has been doing boxing, football (flag & tackle), baseball and basketball since he was 4 years old. Since he was a baby he always kept a ball in his hand and yes I was ecstatic about it because I truly wanted him in sports, I love sports and as I mentioned earlier being on a team is great to help you through life! 

I don’t ever want to be the parent that forces their child to do something they don’t want to, but if they show interest in it then YES I at least want them to try it out and you can figure out if you like it or not! Once your in it I expect that they will give it their all, not only because I have paid for it but because they can truly gain experience, knowledge and build strong friendships if they are all in!

During games I have seen sooo many parents living through their kids, forcing them to play a sport that is clearly not what they want to do.  I mean to the extremes that the parent has hit a kid because they were crying, didn’t wanna go out there or just didn’t complete a play like the parent thought they should. It’s like the parent is living through some type of fantasy. Unfortunately it’s not just the fathers I’ve seen doing this but I’ve seen mothers forcing them as well. Who knows what really goes through a parents mind when they push a child to play, maybe they feel like since they didn’t make it their child will. Are they looking for a way out? Who really knows, possibly dreams of big contracts, full rides to college, or just the next super star!

 Recently Kayden told me he does not really want to play football any more, at first I was thinking he just does not want to play because he has been sitting in the house all year unable to play and he doesn’t want to leave Fortnite. After the first day of training he was sore so I thought that also played a part in it. But he’s made it very clear that he wants to continue sports just not football. It shown a little last year but every time I asked did he want to keep playing he would ask me “If you want me too” As much as I want him to play I will not force it! BUT as far as this training I will have him continue that because it can help him with his speed and that’s good for all sports!

Reasons to NOT force your kids to play sports:

~ Can negatively affect their psyches

~ With no interest, they more than likely will not improve their skill set and that gives them the risk of hurting themselves or others 

~ They can’t be happy if they are not being themselves 

~ People glorify sports players, to put a child not interested in something where they are not succeeding or improving can cause them insecurities

~ Applies pressure on the child to live up to the parents expectations of them playing sports

~  Possibly break the bond between you two

~  Resentment: Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly 

 

We remember what it was like as a kid, having to do things that may not interest us but our parents forced us to do it.  It’s not a great feeling! As we did, our children have opinions and feelings that just want to be heard! Allow them to live out their dreams and passions even if it’s not your ideal! Get into what they like and help them excel in it! This will build a tighter bond between you both!

Buffalo chicken egg rolls

In my household we all eat different, some night I have to make extra sides because someone don’t like something and I’ve even made 2 meals in a night lol. So we are always trying new recipes and this one was a hit! Only thing I’ll have to change next time is probably use half bullion instead of a whole one because with the cheese already salty it’s self then add the buffalo sauce it was too much lol.. But the ranch took the salty tase away! 

List:

Chicken breast

Green onion

Buffalo sauce

Mozzarella 

Bullion cubes

Egg roll wraps

Egg

Water

Oil

Ranch

Step 1: cut fat off of chicken, boil water with bullion cubes add chicken until tender, shred chicken (i use 2 forks)

Step 2: add chicken to bowl with cut green onion, add buffalo sauce and mix

Step 3. Mix 1 egg with some water and mix

Step 4: put egg mixture on edges of egg roll wrap

Step 5: put chicken mix in center of wrap and fold

Step 6: fry 3-4 min

Sorry I do not use measurements, I add to taste! You all can add anything thing you like to the rolls to spice it up. Troy had sweet peppers in his! I wonder what kind of egg roll we can make next? If you have any suggestions please comment below!

Bucket list

Being out of routine I’ve realized there is a lot that I want to do that I just never have time for! Between work, kids sports, their homework, house work etc I tend to to focus on everyone else... As us moms normally do!

Lately the few times I’ve made plans for myself of course something with the kids comes up that forces me to cancel my plans!! Normally it does not bother me but there are some things that I really want to do. Some of them are not even major things. 

Think I’m going to make a bucket list and really try and stick with accomplishing it. Sooo as I’m writing this 2 things came to mind and OF COURSE they involve my kids. Man I can’t shake them lol. But, none of us have been to New York so I really want to get us all out there! Kayden is in love with the place and always talks about how he wants to see the view (downtown, he loves skylines) and the other one was take us all on a cruise, even though Kimara went on one last year it wasn’t with us so that is a must!

Ok back to me, here is a list of a few things I REALLY want to do

1. Visit Egypt and Japan

2.Find a old slave house and go inside (we went to a plantation in FL but couldn’t go inside so that was a bummer) don’t ask me why I want to do this lol that’s a whole different blog! 

3. Zip line 

4. Learn how to do make up 

5.  Make a time capsule and find a burial spot: not sure if I want a random person to find it or keep it for grandchildren

6. Road trip, going state to state! Not sure how long maybe a week or 2

Ok that’s all I’m coming up with at the moment but I want to at least have 10 to accomplish! Then along the way I know as I complete them I will come up with more!

Do any of you have a Bucket List? If so comment whats on them! And if not comment what would be on it if you created one!!

Birthday Parties

I am in love with throwing birthday parties and now that my kids are getting older instead of birthday parties we travel. Well mainly for Kayden, Kimara for some reason wants to hang with multiple friends instead of grabbing a friend or 2 and going out of town. Beyond me but hey if that’s what she wants then so be it!


For me the most important part of a party is the cake, an amazing beautiful looking and tasting cake is a must! It’s probably what I spend the most on. Call me crazy but I’ve spent $150 or more for a kids cake.. I’m crazy I know but it’s always been anything goes for my kids (face palm). I had to dig up these pictures but below I will show you some of my favorite cakes and parties from my kids birthdays!! Just Incase you needs ideas for upcoming parties! Not like I’ll be throwing any soon lol


Not sure how old Kimara turned but she had a TuTu and tennis shoes party! It was an old fashion garage house party with a photographer. There was a back drop with props, the kids really enjoyed the props! Kimara wanted a taco bar, soft or hard with chicken or beef!

Look at this face, PRICELESS



My most favorite of Kaydens was his 1st birthday! I rented out a gym and the theme was Lakers!!! R.I.P Kobe The Goat! He had a 3 tier Lakers cake that was the dopest!! Everything was purple and gold of course! Kayden even had his own Kobe covered “special chair”

Hollywood Spa theme! This was a fun night, I got a hotel room, set it up with make up and polish! There were 2 ladies who came did their facials, nails and make up. These girls really thought they were at a spa! They drunk sparkling bubbly from Champaign glasses. The cutest thing ever! Oh and how could I forget the bracelets they made!

Kaydens 4th birthday we did Avengers theme! I had it at one of those jumpy house places in Kansas City but I can’t recall the name! They had a hour in each room and then ended in the party room for food and cake!!! I had Avenger cake, cookies and party buckets for party favors! The kids and I wore Avenger shirts and socks!!

Unfortunately I don’t have picture from this party that I can find BUT just to prove my point about the cake lol I do have a picture of the cake! My cousin and my kid are 4 days apart so we celebrated theirs bdays together quite a few! Their 7th birthday was Mickey and Minnie! The kids wore Mickey and Minnie ears! I can not remember what the gift bags looked like

Ohhh the Ninja Turtle party was a hit too! Everyone wore ninja turtle shirts! We planned for a bbq at the park but it was rained out so we had to take the party indoors. For party favors I used boxes of things that Ninja Turtles ate: Pizza and Chinese!!! I had pizza and Chinese boxes and also bags with turtle masks! There was going to be a Turtle mascot but due to weather he canceled.

Ok so I’m no party planner BUT if you all need ideas feel free to comment below, inbox or DM even email me and I’d love to help! What have been some of your kids favorite birthday parties?

Stray

There’s this brown dog that has been coming to our house for months, cute little thing! He looks helpless though, blood shot red eyes and it appears that his front foot is broken. He does not walk on it too much and when he stands he holds it up. If it’s not broke than he has a MAJOR slew-foot lol!

It comes around so much that the kids and I named it Kobee (yes with 2 e’s) of course Kobe is our ultimate favorite player. We gave him the name before Kobe passed so now it’s a must he keeps it. Crazy thing is he answers to it too lol. Kobee eats amazing for a dog, any left over we have the kids and I feed it to him. I think some days I make extra just because I know he will be coming by. Oh man and Troy really dislikes the fact we feed him. I mean it’s left overs that no one in the house is going to eat so I really don’t see the harm. All the kids want to keep him and pet him but as much as I love the dog NAW we are not touching it lol I have no clue where it’s been or if it’s had shots sorry kiddos. 

I’m not really sure how this dog found us but my daughter tells me that I’m like this with people too. Very friendly, open and accept every one. I don’t think that is the case lol, I’m social but many wouldn’t call me friendly. Well I guess just people that know me. She said every where we go it seems like I make a friend or people tell me random things about their life.

They say you attract what you are, am I a stray? Lol sounds funny but if you’ve read my blog “childhood to adulthood” I guess I some what a bit of a stray! I don’t mind that people tell me things, if I’ve remotely been through a similar situation then I’m glad to help in whatever way I can. And even if I can’t well just allowing them to get it off their chest, I’m glad I could lend them an ear. I guess they see something in me that’s familiar or comfortable!

I kind of want a dog but they are just like having another child. Have to keep up with shots, feed them, train them, clean up after them and I just don’t want to have to do all that. The kids claim they will do it BUT I still have to tell them to clean their room half the time so they will not be responsible. It’s clear Troy does not want an animal. How do you and your spouse handle situations as this??? I’m stuck and for now maybe we will just get them a turtle or some fish ha!!!

Feeling guilty: but loving it

Before Covid 19 I was the mom with busy kids! Basketball, Football, Baseball, Cheer, school activities, birthday parties etc. I was the mom always in their room making sure I got quality time in any way I could rather it be watching them play a video game, watch a movie with them or just to talk! The mom who checked homework daily, cooked DAILY and yes I mean daily! You know the mom that just never sat down until it was time for bed. Oh I love it as exhausting as it is if I’m not moving then something is not being done. And in the mix of all that lovely madness I worked over time for my job a extra hour in the morning maybe 2-3 extra hours in the evening oh and Saturday yessss I’m working! If there was a game lol yup I’m still clocking in before the game and after. Any idle time must be covered, you ever heard that saying “sleep when your dead” yea that was me! My sister use to tell me “Sissy you are a super mommy but you need to rest”! No thank you, I need to come up with a blog or network with bloggers or blah blah blah! Yea I’m tired from reading that so I know you are too LOL

Then came this DAMN virus and it has everyone in a frenzy (a state or period of uncontrolled excitement or wild behavior.) Side note I just had to google the word lol I knew how to use it but I didn’t know the full definition (Face palm lol oh well that’s just me being overly honest as usual) 

Anyway stores are empty, kids are being sent home from school, sports are canceled and it was just a lot too fast! So then I was the mom trying to work (for those that don’t know I’ve worked from home almost 2 years now) all while being a teacher to my children. Clearly it’s been a while since I’ve been in school, some of this stuff they teach the kids is just backwards or maybe it was how we were taught! It became frustrating because they are not understanding how I’m teaching and I don’t wanna show them the wrong thing or confuse them from how their teacher teaches. I was the mom who was making up games for them to have fun and learn at the same time! The mom who was making lunch now for 3 extra people with no peace and quiet. The mom being a referee between two 7 year olds! Still the busy mom but only in the house, and last but not least the mom about to pull her hair out!!

AND NOW.... Here we are put on a curfew and kids will be out of school the feast of the school year.... So guess what mom I’ve been .... (The kids are on spring break by the way) I’ve been the mom who has not went into their kids room until the end of the day. I’ve been the mom who slowed down on over time (and now they just announced we no longer have over time bummer) I’ve been the mom where I have not cooked daily. The mom who let her son stay up playing Fortnite until 5 am and letting him sleep in until God knows when. It’s 1:29 pm on Friday as I write this on my lunch and Kayden is STILL sleep. But guess what i honestly do not care. I don’t have any blogs prepared for the next 2 weeks, clearly because I’m writing one right now!!!

Normally I’d be feeling guilty because there has been too much idle time going on in my household BUT every now and then it’s ok to just BREATH... So that’s exactly what I’m going to do!!! Tomorrow I’m going to try and sleep in as late as I can, which I know will only be until 7:30 or 8 BUT it will be without an alarm. And I’m going to just lay in bed all day. Judge me if you want too lol! 

We try and control every minute of our life with schedules and trying to make everything perfect that we can drive ourself crazy. Maybe that’s just me I don’t know but I am going to do my best to let this weekend just control itself and allow everyone to relax!!

Please comment below your thoughts and what you’ve been doing since curfews have been put in place!!!

Childhood to adulthood

I saw a post on Facebook the other day that asked “Do y’all believe that people’s childhoods affect their relationships with people?” I responded “ HELL YES”! Then it had me thinking about a blog I wrote back in January but have been hesitant to post, I was going to call it “Childhood Trauma”. I was also stuck on the title lol. But that post just allowed to to feel comfortable to talk about it now! I will just break it down to fit that one question!

Over the past 5 or 6 years I have came to terms with a lot of things I’ve went through as a child and I look at the relationships in my life and how it has a affected them both good and bad! Basically I have been doing self therapy! Knowing my issues has never been a problem, facing them head on and actually knowing where they stem from was!

For starters my mother, I never knew that I resented her growing up. Now as mother I totally understand BUT as her child I don’t know that I ever will. Up until the age of 8 or 9 She raised me as a Scott (My brothers family) that family never treated me as anything other than a Scott BUT I always felt as if I did not belong. My dad was a typical weekend dad and we had some good times. When we moved from Denver to Kansas City is when I met WillWill who became another father figure and to this day I think he may be the one I’m most close with, not only did he teach me life lessons but he made me feel safe and we really have a dad daughter bond. The kids under me didn’t really know that I wasn’t family (in both families) due to them growing up around me! The older ones yes, some claim(ed) me as family and some it was just never talked about. Which made me feel weird since it was not talked about. Almost as if I couldn’t tell one family about the other like it was a secret. I didn’t want who didn’t know to treat me different. If they knew of the other family there may be questions. (Hope that makes sense for you all) Later I found out that I was actually an Evans and that’s when my world turned upside down! I never met that dad until I was 15 (Well i did when i was 9 but had NO clue who he was and he sure didn’t make it know ) and it was on my behalf knowing that I had siblings. Our relationship has been rocky and the only time I ever felt close to him was actually about 2 weeks ago. Whenever I visit them and meet new family I ALWAYS hear “I didn’t even know you had an older daughter Mark”  as if I’m not standing right there.. Thanks! Sooo again I do not feel as if I belong or welcomed... Catching on to the pattern here? Now as I stated I understand wanting the best for our children so we want to do for them the best we can! But honestly I’m not sure if she thought this dad thing all the way through. The way this has affected me with my children and my relationship is at times I feel like I push their own family on them because I never want them to feel as if they are not wanted or don’t feel they fit in with their own. It also affected me having friendships with other girls because my childhood self always thinks if my mom could hold in that truth than why wouldn’t anyone else! So I do not trust easy. I have done a lot better with getting along and opening up to females but I’m not all the way there just yet!

As far as my dads situation affecting my relationships, whewww Chile ! I was use to men leaving me so I’m kind of became numb to it. My Scott dad stopped coming around when he found out I knew of my birth dad. A couple of years ago he opened up to me about it when I had a conversation about our relationship! He left with out even knowing if I even met my real dad, says he felt as if he wouldn’t have a say anymore. When he said that it was like I lost him all over again. To me it felt like BS and it was just his way out, I can’t help that I felt that way but it’s my truth! Will Will went to jail when I was 12 and he’s still there so there went the only man in my life that I felt was the most honest with me. Mark was hardly around as is so.. My relationships with men had me clinging tight to those that were close in fear of losing them even if they were not right for me! Or I didn’t even take the chance to get close in fear of them leaving me.

It’s hard at times because for me family is not always blood it’s based off loyalty and love! I never want my kids to experience the feelings I’ve had being around family who just doesn’t see it the same way as I do. Some of my family I don’t even care to have them around because I don’t want them in and out like they are with me!

With my kids I make sure that I’m very open and honest about all my dads, because trust me they ask questions ha! I’m going to cut it off here because I can go on for days about this. Just wanted to answer that FaceBook question!

Comment below your thoughts

A letter to moms....

Dear Mommies,


You are doing such an amazing job at parenting! Things are not always as easy as we’d like and usually never go our way. You are selfless and give your family all that you have! You keep smiling to mask the pain holding within, due to fear of letting those emotions out cause it may show a sign of weakness! I know you don’t want that burden placed on them.

The past may have shaped the way you are today with how you think and parent! You don’t want your child to miss what you missed out on or experience the pain you endured. Unknowingly you set unrealistic expectations causing you to apply unnecessary pressure on the kids which may cause future issue in them with us to blame.

All your hard work, long nights, weekends full of games and sacrifices will all pay off! Stop being so hard on yourself you do not deserve it! Any mistakes you make along the way are only lessons, not only for you but your children to remember when they become parents! And please believe they do not understand now but it will be appreciated once that thought comes across “ohhhh this is why my mom did/ said that”.

Live one day at a time making the next better than the last! Love past the misunderstandings and fill your children with compassion! Be proud of the stability within your family! And remember it will all be worth it in the end!

Signed,
A mother figuring it out