Sports mom

As a kid I played SoftBall and I truly enjoyed being out there with everyone cheering and screaming! The adrenaline of making sure I caught a flying ball coming towards me to get the running player out before she even slid into my base. Whew there is nothing like it, thinking about it I’m not really sure why I didn’t play longer than I did because it was really fun! Not sure if most people really consider it a sport but I also was on a church dance team and my school step team! Building relationships and forming a sisterhood with your team is great! 

Sports are great for many reasons but just to name a few:

~ Preparation : A mode of preparing for the future!  You must be mentally and physically ready to give your all.

~ Perseverance: Steady persistence in a course of action! Even if you can’t get it the first try, keep going until you do.

~  Believing in others: You can’t win alone, being a team player you have to have faith and trust in your team

~ No excuses attitude: seek to defend or justify.  Excuses don’t win titles!

~ Make mistakes: An act or judgment misguided. Just like in life, it’s only a mistake if you don’t correct it! Learn from it and grow!

~ Respect:  Deep admiration for someone or something! In order to receive it you must give it

~ Know how to win and lose: As quick as your on top you can be back at the bottom! Do not over boast your wins and do not pity your loses! 

~ Passion/ Love: Strong and barely controllable emotion. If you don’t have a desire to do it, you won’t achieve goals. You must first actually want to do it.

My kids are active in sports heavily especially my son. Kimara has been cheering for school and competition for 3 years. And Kayden has been doing boxing, football (flag & tackle), baseball and basketball since he was 4 years old. Since he was a baby he always kept a ball in his hand and yes I was ecstatic about it because I truly wanted him in sports, I love sports and as I mentioned earlier being on a team is great to help you through life! 

I don’t ever want to be the parent that forces their child to do something they don’t want to, but if they show interest in it then YES I at least want them to try it out and you can figure out if you like it or not! Once your in it I expect that they will give it their all, not only because I have paid for it but because they can truly gain experience, knowledge and build strong friendships if they are all in!

During games I have seen sooo many parents living through their kids, forcing them to play a sport that is clearly not what they want to do.  I mean to the extremes that the parent has hit a kid because they were crying, didn’t wanna go out there or just didn’t complete a play like the parent thought they should. It’s like the parent is living through some type of fantasy. Unfortunately it’s not just the fathers I’ve seen doing this but I’ve seen mothers forcing them as well. Who knows what really goes through a parents mind when they push a child to play, maybe they feel like since they didn’t make it their child will. Are they looking for a way out? Who really knows, possibly dreams of big contracts, full rides to college, or just the next super star!

 Recently Kayden told me he does not really want to play football any more, at first I was thinking he just does not want to play because he has been sitting in the house all year unable to play and he doesn’t want to leave Fortnite. After the first day of training he was sore so I thought that also played a part in it. But he’s made it very clear that he wants to continue sports just not football. It shown a little last year but every time I asked did he want to keep playing he would ask me “If you want me too” As much as I want him to play I will not force it! BUT as far as this training I will have him continue that because it can help him with his speed and that’s good for all sports!

Reasons to NOT force your kids to play sports:

~ Can negatively affect their psyches

~ With no interest, they more than likely will not improve their skill set and that gives them the risk of hurting themselves or others 

~ They can’t be happy if they are not being themselves 

~ People glorify sports players, to put a child not interested in something where they are not succeeding or improving can cause them insecurities

~ Applies pressure on the child to live up to the parents expectations of them playing sports

~  Possibly break the bond between you two

~  Resentment: Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly 

 

We remember what it was like as a kid, having to do things that may not interest us but our parents forced us to do it.  It’s not a great feeling! As we did, our children have opinions and feelings that just want to be heard! Allow them to live out their dreams and passions even if it’s not your ideal! Get into what they like and help them excel in it! This will build a tighter bond between you both!

“All you care about is education”

In the class room there is normally 1 teacher to 18 or more students! There is NO way education should be left solely on the teacher. For me I feel education begins and continues at home. Not only so your child can have that one on one attention but because there are so many things school does not teach! Real life lessons to be exact and also it seems like every year they are learning the same history facts. What’s up with that?

Around the age 6 months is when i started teaching my kids colors, counting and the abc’s! Seems as though kids grasp things at a younger age and the more consistent the easier to pick up! I would buy and or create flash cards for them. I truly wanted their learning to be visual and fun so that we would play and they wouldn’t even know they were learning! 

A few things i did with Kayden:

1. Instead of saying things like “Kayden can you hand me a block” I’d say “Kayden can you please  
    hand me a RED block”

2. I taped the spelling of the item on the toy so he would know how to connect the two...

3. When learning to spell his name i made it into a song K-A-Y-D-E-N  L-A-R-O-N  D-A-Y don’t be
    shy and spell it to the enddddd’ (Sang this in a jingle bell melody)

4. I taped sight words all over the house and would leave them up for a week at a time!
    Since he loves basketball I’d turn spelling into a game! We would play “Horse” shooting baskets
    except we would use one of the site words and when he got it right he would get a treat such as
    chips, candy or cookies!

Even though he’s a little older now I probably should get back to games like this maybe he would not get so frustrated when he has to do homework! Because some days can be a struggle just getting him to focus on his work!

I always try and stay in communication with their teachers so that when I’m giving them extra homework I’m not teaching them differently then the teacher. Leave it up to me to have the kid confused lol! One conversation with Kayden’s teacher really saddened my heart to hear that the school cut out spelling words due to kids failing because their parents were not going over the words with them. I don’t care how busy or tired i am, even if it’s only 15-20 minutes a day we are going to go over those words! Kayden cracks me up because he’s always telling me “All you care about is education. Probably true because I turn everything into a lesson. 

There is this great website called “Ruby Reads”  which helps your child connect reading, discovery and hands on learning in a fun way with their  Ruby’s Book Boxes and Read Aloud posters! Their belief matches mine that your child learns best in a relaxed supportive environment WITH YOU! Their products are inexpensive and well worth the quality time you will be able to spend with your child! Visit their website www.RubyReadsBooks.com I promise you will not be disappointed!

Kimara is older now so things I do with her are a little different! I’ve always given her extra homework because she is SUPER smart and i did not fell she was being challenged enough! One of her teachers told me in a parent teacher conference  “In my 25 plus years of teaching, i have never had a parent ask to provide extra homework! But i love it”. That truly made me feel amazing! (Pats myself on the back) When she was about 8 I started giving her weekly where she had to learn the definition and spelling. I also challenge her to try using it at least once a day! I feel like my vocabulary is a bit short so my hope was this would whelp to lengthen hers (I probably need to get in on this action as well lol). 

Maybe once a month I would have her pick a subject, or person and she did the research for that topic then wrote a paper on it! She’s really shy so I would have her stand up and read it to me! That helped to open her up, be direct and speak clearly! The more she did it the better she got! Watching his growth was amazing!

I know as mothers we are pulled in so many directions! If you do not always have the time to create fun homework with your child I’d suggest speaking with the teacher on things you can do!

Here are some questions you may want to ask the teacher!

1. What can i do at home to help?

The attention you give at home to your child’s education is important! Something as simple as checking their homework may help!

2. Does my child build friendships easily with his/her classmates?

Kids are very impressionable so it’s always good to know who they associate with! I’ve had to tell each of my kids teachers to separate them from their friends in class or they won’t focus.

3. Do you reward my child for good behavior and id so how?

If it works in the class it should work at home! My sons teacher (a female) allows Kayden to go visit a male teacher every Friday IF he’s had a good week! That teacher normally gives him some kind of treat! Kayden needs every male figure he can to bond with and look up to so I truly love that she does this!

Lastly speak with your child to see what their needs are! Some questions to ask could be:

1. What strengths do you bring to the classroom?

Their answer can be a constant reminder and confidence booster!

2.What changes would you like to see in class?

This will help them to be honest and learn to know when to speak up and seek the help they need!

3. How can i help?

The most direct question of all, IF we don’t know we can’t help!

If education is as important to you as it is to me! I truly hope this helps! If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask! And also drop comments below on how you help your child learn!

Mothers guilt...

There is so much that needs to be done/given to your children , quality time, spending money, cooking, cleaning blah blah blah that i always get mothers guilt when i try to do anything for myself. I do not know how to turn it off sometimes..

Working from home makes it so easy for me to do over time, and the more i do i start thinking ok i know I’m at home and the kids are here but i really haven’t had time to converse with them other than saying “you’re too loud get out my office” or thinking “ok here you come again showing me another video” lol... But then i also think we’ll you know what i need this money cause i know they will be needing something soon!

It’s so crazy because anytime i have a little extra money Troy is telling me “Krystle do something for yourself even if it’s just going to get a massage” and here i go well babe i wanna hold onto it just incase it’s needed. He just looks at me crazy and then i end up buying something, but i still budget it and don’t go crazy. Anytime I’m alone and i go to get something for myself most of the time i end up getting something for them! Does not always be a big thing but even just little character  stand for the back of their phones... which thinking about it i joust stepped on one the other day! Dang kids use it for 2 days then just don’t care about it no more (face palm)!

There’s that worry if I’m over doing or under doing anything and it truly gives me anxiety. I’m not sure if it’s that i over think everything. Or maybe i always replay things i may have felt as a child and i never want them to feel that way! Lol but then thinking that makes me feel like I’m creating something in them that will affect them as they grow up! WHEWWW child yea just typing that shows me that i over think.

Do not forget who you were before becoming a mother because it’s so easy to do! We never want to neglect the children and in doing so we neglect ourself. Being a single mom i have to be all things at once! Boy the pressure be turnt wayyyyy up..

Here are some ways that i have tried using to get over my mom guilt

1. Get out of the house: it will allow you to free your mind. If you are not ok it will trickle down to the kids since you are the foundation
               -  Have a girls night
               - Find some place to go alone (before it got cold i would walk the track in my neighborhood)

2.  Step back to asses the situation 
                - ask yourself is there really anything wrong or is it in my head
                - recognize the thoughts you’re having (i literally have told myself Krystle just stop)

3. Strengthen the relationship with your partner
                  - another guilt that comes up (for me at least) when caring for the kids, romance might take the back seat 
                   - Make sure to get date nights in even if it’s just to go get ice cream  
                   - Having a healthy relationship is a great example for the kids to see 
4. Know that there is no such thing as a perfect mom 
                  - I’ve taken my mother’s mistakes and tried improving them
                 

Parenting is hard enough without beating yourself up about it! Allow your self room for mess ups and mishaps.  After all the mistakes are how we learn and it’s only a mistake if you do it again. What are some things you get mom guilt about? And how do you handle it! Comment below