Do I or don’t I

For years I said I wanted another baby but if I didn’t have one by the time I was 35 then it was over..... Well I will be 35 in July and NOPE I’m not pregnant! 

I go back and forth so much with if I even still want another child.. My oldest is about to be 16, I started over once having my son 8 years after her. I just can’t even imagine starting over once again. Things have changed so much even since Kayden and I feel like I would totally be lost lol. Not to mention I’m so close to being kid free it would be a shame to get stuck with another one. Ohhhh does that sounded bad? Not stuck with one but... you get what I’m saying! 

 Even though I have never really been a person to care about what people think or how they may view me but I’d be lying if I didn’t think about people saying things like “Damn she got 3 baby daddies” or “She still ain’t married”. In my mind I was in relationships with my kids fathers over 2 years and they are so spread out so Ohh well think what you want! And then as far as being married, again oh well it is what it is! I would love to have been married when I had each of my kids but that’s not how it happened. And looking at some marriages scares me lol most of them only together because of the kids so I realllyyy don’t want that either! These thoughts may just be in my head. 

Then on a brighter side, as stressful as being a parent is I truly LOVE it and I really cant imagine life any other way. I mean it’s all I know, I’ve been a mother since I was 19. It has to be the most rewarding job I’ve ever had. Watching your kids grow in the world knowing they have soaked in all the knowledge you’ve provided just does wonders to my soul!

Each one of my kids teaches me something about myself, I see things in them that are me. Things they go through and do helps me grow. The way that they handle emotions at their age is amazing because they admit and communicate things that I could not at their age. And it’s helped give me courage to start.

I guess if it’s in Gods will then I will have another one and if not the momma gone LIVE OK HONEY!!!! 

Sports mom

As a kid I played SoftBall and I truly enjoyed being out there with everyone cheering and screaming! The adrenaline of making sure I caught a flying ball coming towards me to get the running player out before she even slid into my base. Whew there is nothing like it, thinking about it I’m not really sure why I didn’t play longer than I did because it was really fun! Not sure if most people really consider it a sport but I also was on a church dance team and my school step team! Building relationships and forming a sisterhood with your team is great! 

Sports are great for many reasons but just to name a few:

~ Preparation : A mode of preparing for the future!  You must be mentally and physically ready to give your all.

~ Perseverance: Steady persistence in a course of action! Even if you can’t get it the first try, keep going until you do.

~  Believing in others: You can’t win alone, being a team player you have to have faith and trust in your team

~ No excuses attitude: seek to defend or justify.  Excuses don’t win titles!

~ Make mistakes: An act or judgment misguided. Just like in life, it’s only a mistake if you don’t correct it! Learn from it and grow!

~ Respect:  Deep admiration for someone or something! In order to receive it you must give it

~ Know how to win and lose: As quick as your on top you can be back at the bottom! Do not over boast your wins and do not pity your loses! 

~ Passion/ Love: Strong and barely controllable emotion. If you don’t have a desire to do it, you won’t achieve goals. You must first actually want to do it.

My kids are active in sports heavily especially my son. Kimara has been cheering for school and competition for 3 years. And Kayden has been doing boxing, football (flag & tackle), baseball and basketball since he was 4 years old. Since he was a baby he always kept a ball in his hand and yes I was ecstatic about it because I truly wanted him in sports, I love sports and as I mentioned earlier being on a team is great to help you through life! 

I don’t ever want to be the parent that forces their child to do something they don’t want to, but if they show interest in it then YES I at least want them to try it out and you can figure out if you like it or not! Once your in it I expect that they will give it their all, not only because I have paid for it but because they can truly gain experience, knowledge and build strong friendships if they are all in!

During games I have seen sooo many parents living through their kids, forcing them to play a sport that is clearly not what they want to do.  I mean to the extremes that the parent has hit a kid because they were crying, didn’t wanna go out there or just didn’t complete a play like the parent thought they should. It’s like the parent is living through some type of fantasy. Unfortunately it’s not just the fathers I’ve seen doing this but I’ve seen mothers forcing them as well. Who knows what really goes through a parents mind when they push a child to play, maybe they feel like since they didn’t make it their child will. Are they looking for a way out? Who really knows, possibly dreams of big contracts, full rides to college, or just the next super star!

 Recently Kayden told me he does not really want to play football any more, at first I was thinking he just does not want to play because he has been sitting in the house all year unable to play and he doesn’t want to leave Fortnite. After the first day of training he was sore so I thought that also played a part in it. But he’s made it very clear that he wants to continue sports just not football. It shown a little last year but every time I asked did he want to keep playing he would ask me “If you want me too” As much as I want him to play I will not force it! BUT as far as this training I will have him continue that because it can help him with his speed and that’s good for all sports!

Reasons to NOT force your kids to play sports:

~ Can negatively affect their psyches

~ With no interest, they more than likely will not improve their skill set and that gives them the risk of hurting themselves or others 

~ They can’t be happy if they are not being themselves 

~ People glorify sports players, to put a child not interested in something where they are not succeeding or improving can cause them insecurities

~ Applies pressure on the child to live up to the parents expectations of them playing sports

~  Possibly break the bond between you two

~  Resentment: Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly 

 

We remember what it was like as a kid, having to do things that may not interest us but our parents forced us to do it.  It’s not a great feeling! As we did, our children have opinions and feelings that just want to be heard! Allow them to live out their dreams and passions even if it’s not your ideal! Get into what they like and help them excel in it! This will build a tighter bond between you both!

Pot Pot

Now i know my kids are ages away from being potty trained, however i have some followers who are coming up on potty training or in the middle of it! I can remember back when my kids were training and i thought it was going to be a stressful time but thankfully it actually was not!!
I like to turn everything into a game when it comes to learning! Or especially a song, if you notice a lot of kids theses days will know every song before they know how to spell their name. Not my kids but I’ve seen it before (no judging it just fits with where I’m going). Anyway, if you find something catchy enough it will excite the kids enough to make them want to do whatever brings up the song. If you keep up with my blogs you know i taught Kayden how to spell his name in song form!! They actually have potty training songs via YouTube now!This one is cute, I’ve never actually used this video or any others but it may help you. Personally i think its more fun to make it up myself! Normally i used the song after they went as a celebratory. Kids love to be celebrated and of course they want to make their mommies happy so this excites them!

Truly can’t remember who suggested this but it worked for both Kayden and Kimara, even though EVERYONE kept saying boys were harder to train than girls LIES lol. Any-who i would place Cheerios or  fruit loops in their potty and the game was to make them float. With their urine of course, yea sounds crazy right but once they used it they got the song “You did it, you did it ohhh yay you did it” or whatever I’d come up with at the moment. I’m sure you’re thinking “I am not wasting my food or my money” but really think about it, once you have your baby trained you won’t be buying diapers.... BOOM then you will be saving !!! (Ching Ching Ching) Changed the way you’re thinking already huh!

With Kimara I even use to give her stickers whenever she would tell me she needed to go, this was a MAJOR reward because i did not have to make her use it but she actually knew when to tell me!!

I know things can’t always be fun and games so other major factors when potty training is to make sure babysitters and or daycare are on the same page as you! Being on different schedules every place really child goes may confuse them. Set a schedule of when drinks are to stop at night! That’s a major key to over night peeing, we tend to want to satisfy the child when they cry and give them juice or milk but NO stop doing that ASAP. Pick a time in the middle of the night that they usually wake up or have to use it, wake them up and take them to the bathroom, this will help them get use to the sensation feeling of when it’s time to go!

Another major thing that helped with Kayden, after giving him juice I’d wait 10-15 minutes and then sit him in the potty. Normally he would say he didn’t have to go BUT you know the saying “Momma knows best” and in this case i always did because he would go every time!!

Try using big kid panties/underwear especially while at home, if they get those wet the feeling is worse than a diaper and trust me they will not want to walk around wet with those on! Plus it will just help them feel like a big kid!!

I hope this helps out, if love to hear your potty training nightmares and success so just comment below and share!!!