Do I or don’t I

For years I said I wanted another baby but if I didn’t have one by the time I was 35 then it was over..... Well I will be 35 in July and NOPE I’m not pregnant! 

I go back and forth so much with if I even still want another child.. My oldest is about to be 16, I started over once having my son 8 years after her. I just can’t even imagine starting over once again. Things have changed so much even since Kayden and I feel like I would totally be lost lol. Not to mention I’m so close to being kid free it would be a shame to get stuck with another one. Ohhhh does that sounded bad? Not stuck with one but... you get what I’m saying! 

 Even though I have never really been a person to care about what people think or how they may view me but I’d be lying if I didn’t think about people saying things like “Damn she got 3 baby daddies” or “She still ain’t married”. In my mind I was in relationships with my kids fathers over 2 years and they are so spread out so Ohh well think what you want! And then as far as being married, again oh well it is what it is! I would love to have been married when I had each of my kids but that’s not how it happened. And looking at some marriages scares me lol most of them only together because of the kids so I realllyyy don’t want that either! These thoughts may just be in my head. 

Then on a brighter side, as stressful as being a parent is I truly LOVE it and I really cant imagine life any other way. I mean it’s all I know, I’ve been a mother since I was 19. It has to be the most rewarding job I’ve ever had. Watching your kids grow in the world knowing they have soaked in all the knowledge you’ve provided just does wonders to my soul!

Each one of my kids teaches me something about myself, I see things in them that are me. Things they go through and do helps me grow. The way that they handle emotions at their age is amazing because they admit and communicate things that I could not at their age. And it’s helped give me courage to start.

I guess if it’s in Gods will then I will have another one and if not the momma gone LIVE OK HONEY!!!! 

Love

So I was blessed to be involved in a project that some wonderful ladies are doing sharing different women’s stories! They stumped me when they got to one particular question!

“Where did you see love growing up” 

My answer was that I didn’t see it, with that question I went straight to thinking about love as far as a relationship goes. It really had me thinking about how I did not have any strong marriages or relationships to look up to or to mock for my own relationship! This is really a sad situation for a person who is so loving, emotional and always wanted to have a family. It makes me think how do I really know how to love in a relationship if I’ve never seen one! I mean I believe I know what it should look like but it’s not in front of me other than watching tv! And those relationships are made out to be perfect for example the Cosby’s or the Winslow’s (Family Matter) just to name a few. 

The only people in my family who have been married a long time were like great aunts and I wasn’t around them enough to see their relationship. But they did come from an era where people actually tried to stay in a marriage. Now a days people give up with out a fight and are on to the next. 

Then it dawned on me that love is not only shown in relationships and I was totally thinking of the question in the wrong way! I had love ALL around me! I mean if you follow my blog then you have read about the bonus mothers and dads all the family I have. My mother and grandmother show me soooo much love how could I not have mentioned that love? It takes a lot for a person to take in an child who’s not theirs THATS LOVE! My mother never met a stranger and will stop to help any one in need, I’ve seen her pull people out of flipped cars, give a man her jacket who just walked out a burning house even though it was cold outsideTHATS LOVE!!!

So to answer my own question how can I love in a relationship if I’ve never seen a healthy one is: I love selflessly like the love I was given, I love hard, I understand that persons background to understand their current, I communicate, I be honest not only to myself but to them, I be open, and I be consistent!!!

Where did you see love growing up?? Please share below 

 

Sports mom

As a kid I played SoftBall and I truly enjoyed being out there with everyone cheering and screaming! The adrenaline of making sure I caught a flying ball coming towards me to get the running player out before she even slid into my base. Whew there is nothing like it, thinking about it I’m not really sure why I didn’t play longer than I did because it was really fun! Not sure if most people really consider it a sport but I also was on a church dance team and my school step team! Building relationships and forming a sisterhood with your team is great! 

Sports are great for many reasons but just to name a few:

~ Preparation : A mode of preparing for the future!  You must be mentally and physically ready to give your all.

~ Perseverance: Steady persistence in a course of action! Even if you can’t get it the first try, keep going until you do.

~  Believing in others: You can’t win alone, being a team player you have to have faith and trust in your team

~ No excuses attitude: seek to defend or justify.  Excuses don’t win titles!

~ Make mistakes: An act or judgment misguided. Just like in life, it’s only a mistake if you don’t correct it! Learn from it and grow!

~ Respect:  Deep admiration for someone or something! In order to receive it you must give it

~ Know how to win and lose: As quick as your on top you can be back at the bottom! Do not over boast your wins and do not pity your loses! 

~ Passion/ Love: Strong and barely controllable emotion. If you don’t have a desire to do it, you won’t achieve goals. You must first actually want to do it.

My kids are active in sports heavily especially my son. Kimara has been cheering for school and competition for 3 years. And Kayden has been doing boxing, football (flag & tackle), baseball and basketball since he was 4 years old. Since he was a baby he always kept a ball in his hand and yes I was ecstatic about it because I truly wanted him in sports, I love sports and as I mentioned earlier being on a team is great to help you through life! 

I don’t ever want to be the parent that forces their child to do something they don’t want to, but if they show interest in it then YES I at least want them to try it out and you can figure out if you like it or not! Once your in it I expect that they will give it their all, not only because I have paid for it but because they can truly gain experience, knowledge and build strong friendships if they are all in!

During games I have seen sooo many parents living through their kids, forcing them to play a sport that is clearly not what they want to do.  I mean to the extremes that the parent has hit a kid because they were crying, didn’t wanna go out there or just didn’t complete a play like the parent thought they should. It’s like the parent is living through some type of fantasy. Unfortunately it’s not just the fathers I’ve seen doing this but I’ve seen mothers forcing them as well. Who knows what really goes through a parents mind when they push a child to play, maybe they feel like since they didn’t make it their child will. Are they looking for a way out? Who really knows, possibly dreams of big contracts, full rides to college, or just the next super star!

 Recently Kayden told me he does not really want to play football any more, at first I was thinking he just does not want to play because he has been sitting in the house all year unable to play and he doesn’t want to leave Fortnite. After the first day of training he was sore so I thought that also played a part in it. But he’s made it very clear that he wants to continue sports just not football. It shown a little last year but every time I asked did he want to keep playing he would ask me “If you want me too” As much as I want him to play I will not force it! BUT as far as this training I will have him continue that because it can help him with his speed and that’s good for all sports!

Reasons to NOT force your kids to play sports:

~ Can negatively affect their psyches

~ With no interest, they more than likely will not improve their skill set and that gives them the risk of hurting themselves or others 

~ They can’t be happy if they are not being themselves 

~ People glorify sports players, to put a child not interested in something where they are not succeeding or improving can cause them insecurities

~ Applies pressure on the child to live up to the parents expectations of them playing sports

~  Possibly break the bond between you two

~  Resentment: Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly 

 

We remember what it was like as a kid, having to do things that may not interest us but our parents forced us to do it.  It’s not a great feeling! As we did, our children have opinions and feelings that just want to be heard! Allow them to live out their dreams and passions even if it’s not your ideal! Get into what they like and help them excel in it! This will build a tighter bond between you both!

Buffalo chicken egg rolls

In my household we all eat different, some night I have to make extra sides because someone don’t like something and I’ve even made 2 meals in a night lol. So we are always trying new recipes and this one was a hit! Only thing I’ll have to change next time is probably use half bullion instead of a whole one because with the cheese already salty it’s self then add the buffalo sauce it was too much lol.. But the ranch took the salty tase away! 

List:

Chicken breast

Green onion

Buffalo sauce

Mozzarella 

Bullion cubes

Egg roll wraps

Egg

Water

Oil

Ranch

Step 1: cut fat off of chicken, boil water with bullion cubes add chicken until tender, shred chicken (i use 2 forks)

Step 2: add chicken to bowl with cut green onion, add buffalo sauce and mix

Step 3. Mix 1 egg with some water and mix

Step 4: put egg mixture on edges of egg roll wrap

Step 5: put chicken mix in center of wrap and fold

Step 6: fry 3-4 min

Sorry I do not use measurements, I add to taste! You all can add anything thing you like to the rolls to spice it up. Troy had sweet peppers in his! I wonder what kind of egg roll we can make next? If you have any suggestions please comment below!